What We Saw
by mistress amethyst une
Summary: For polomare. How exactly did both Janeway and Chakotay get the bug bites that led to their being stranded on New Earth? Janeway reflects on her relationship with her first officer as they stand beside a lake. Fluffy one-shot.


**Disclaimer: **ST: VOY is not mine.

**Author's Note: **I haven't written fluff in awhile so forgive the rustiness. I listened to "Never Existed Before" by Minnie Riperton while writing this so you know it's going to be sappy. Blame this one on polomare. She gave me the plot bunny when she wondered how J/C managed to get the bug bites that stranded them in Resolutions. :)

**What We Saw**

**By mistress amethyst une**

I saw something in his eyes. It was something that had no business being there. I turn away but the heat of his stare remains. The way his gaze smolders is enough to burn a blush on my cheeks. As the blood rushes to my face, my heart begins to pound. I've seen that look before. In another set of eyes, I saw that same longing. Just minutes ago… reflected in the water as I caught myself gawking at him.

That was when he'd turned to me. He'd returned my look. I was caught completely off-guard. We must look like a pair of idiots. We'd turned away from each other at the exact same moment. We must have both seen the hunger reflected in each other's eyes. It was unbearable to maintain eye contact. The yearning was too intense. Awkwardness hangs in the air like a thick fog. My eyes remain averted, but I know he's forced his gaze back on me.

He breaks the silence by clearing his throat. I finally look at him. He smiles. I try to smile back, but know that the expression on my face is a travesty to any expression of joy. A forced grin pastes itself on my countenance. He laughs. That's enough to break the tension. I playfully swat at his arm. Finally, he speaks.

"This is a lovely little lake, isn't it?"

I nod. Silence permeates again. We both fix our eyes on the water. Beautiful clear water… why is it that all I can see is his reflection next to my own? We don't stand too far from each other. Our hands both rest at our sides. Our fingers could very easily graze each other's right now. He could easily take my hand right now. He could pull my gaze away from his reflection in the water, force me to look at the genuine article. Make me see that look in his eyes, the same look I gave him. Speak the words that lie in both our hearts. The words that have escaped the windows to our souls, the words that now silently sing in the air…

When he looked in my eyes, heaven met earth, blue met brown, the heat of the stars met the warmth of solid ground… it was almost passionate, almost a mating of our spirits. My rumination is interrupted when I hear him give a yelp of pain.

I instantaneously turn to him, and know that my eyes betray my worry. He's torn off his brown, tweed, civilian shirt. I feel myself begin to blush again. No time to be coy. He could be hurt. 

"Are you all right?"

I say this as I let my hands touch his bare torso, to examine him for any sort of wound or bug bite. On the left side of his chest, a golden beetle rests. I move to grab it and throw it off him, but he stops my hand with his. He traps my hand beneath his, holding it to his chest to stop any further motion from me. With his free hand, he gently pulls the beetle off his wounded flesh. He's been bitten, but he doesn't seem to mind. Beetle in hand, he kneels on the ground and lets the insect go free. I kneel with him, my hand still resting over his heart. He truly is a gentle soul… refusing to take life unless absolutely necessary.

He realizes the awkwardness of the situation just then. He releases my hand, draws back, and mumbles an apology. I chortle, and would possibly have burst out laughing, had it not been for the beetle. The beetle he'd just released saw fit to reward his kindness by landing on my forehead and having a taste of me as well. It flew off before I could do anything to harm it. For that, I am thankful. I might have made a move to crush it for the pain I was feeling now. I'm sure there's a rather unsightly mark on my forehead.

He moves toward me and brushes my bangs away from the wound. Our eyes meet again. For seconds that seemingly stretch out for hours, we stand in silence, entranced by the other's gaze. I feel a sense of comfort and he must have felt the same. I can only assume that the sentiment enveloping us is what emboldens him to do the unthinkable. Slowly, he steps forward and caresses my cheek. I stand frozen. His touch feels pleasant on my face, and that terrifies me. He leans forward and imparts a kiss to the pained area of my forehead. I snap out of my reverie. On instinct, I draw back. When my gaze meets his again, all I see is pain in his gentle, brown eyes. I yearn to kick myself for what I've just done.

"I'm sorry, Captain."

He puts emphasis on the word "captain." My rank. The fact that I've put this distance between us hurts a thousand times more than the bite on my forehead. 

Hearing nothing from me, he adds, "I was out of line."

He turns from me, and I know I just can't let him walk away like that. 

I rest my hand on his shoulder. "You weren't. Thank you, Commander."

It's not enough to kill the tension. He only nods, before proceeding to walk off. When I'm sure he's out of hearing range, I let out a scream of frustration. Damn it, what we feel for each other is clear to see. I silently wish for the day that we'll have the chance to speak what's in our hearts. Little did I know, fate had already granted my wish. 

Fate had taken the form of a golden beetle that day. A golden beetle that had bitten close to his heart and stung my rational, little head… heart and mind. Unbeknownst to both of us, we will soon be forced to truly face each other. No longer able to hide behind the ranks of captain and commander... only Kathryn and Chakotay.

* * *

Again, I'm sorry if I'm rusty. I always did like writing happy fic more than angst. Hope you enjoyed this. :) And no, I'm not neglecting "Inevitable." Just wanted a break before I jumped back into the angst pool. :D


End file.
